Don’t worry about what other people think of you.
I used to worry too much what others thought
of me, of my decisions and of my actions. Eventually, I came to
realize that if you’re wasting too much time seeking validation, respect or
approval from others, then you won’t have time to accomplish all that you
desire.
Everyone has an opinion, but in reality other’s opinions of you
are based more on their history and perceptions than anything you’re actually
doing. So while it’s good to ask for feedback, rely on your own assessment of
you rather than others.
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Today is what’s important.
This is a biggie on so many
levels. Enjoy every moment of today, because you are not guaranteed a tomorrow.
Don’t put off your dreams. Don’t wait to do, try, enjoy all of those “someday”
items. Don’t tell yourself I’ll do it tomorrow. If
it’s important to you, then DO IT TODAY.
Pay attention to what is happening
now, to the people around you, to the task at hand and to all of the
choices you make today, big and small. What you do today, determines what
tomorrow will bring. Our future is set by what we decide and act on today.
Let it go.
What happened yesterday is over. Those unmet expectations, difficult
situations, failures and conflicts are in the past. You can’t change it, so let
it go. Don’t waste your energy dwelling on anger, resentment or disappointment.
It only keeps you stuck in the past and holds you back from moving forward in
your life.
Also, learn to let the little things roll off your back.
Insults, criticisms, setbacks — let them all go. Don’t hold on to old
resentments or slights. They only weigh you down.
It’s called work for a reason.
Success at anything takes work. When you hear
about an overnight success story, don’t forget about all of the work that came
before. It takes time to build a career or a business, prep work, time to learn
and fail, time to build a network and a team of mentors and supporters.
You may have to do work you do not enjoy and trudge through the
trenches of planning, building, refining, moving up, out, over and
redefining before you get to the place where success clicks. Keep going.
Believe in yourself.
You are your own worst critic, and so can you be your own best supporter.
If you do not have confidence in your own value, abilities and contribution,
then nobody else will either. You must have faith in your intrinsic worth. We
each have something to offer that is necessary and valuable, though we may not
know what that something is.
You do not have to be able to see the end zone. Just because you
aren’t able to visualize where you might go and how you might succeed, that
doesn’t mean it will not happen. And just because you may have made mistakes
and have a string of failures behind you does not mean that you can’t achieve
your goals in the future. You can do far more than you can imagine.
Don’t burn your bridges.
You never know when a former boss, colleague, business partner
or acquaintance may come in handy. Try to part on good terms, stay
on good terms and never gossip about former connections. Be respectful and open
to possibilities.
Maintain and foster connections on all levels. Connect others
and offer your help to those you know. A wide pool of friends, peers and
connections of all kinds will provide a wealthy resource of ideas and support
as you go forward in life. (The exception would be dishonest, disrespectful or
offensive people. Cut em loose!)
Money is not the most important thing.
Money is important. We all have bills to pay, I understand that
completely. But in the end, or even in the middle, maybe especially in the
middle, money is not the end goal. Satisfaction in a job well done,
contributing to something worthwhile and finding something you enjoy doing (or
figuring out how to enjoy what you do) are more motivating goals and certainly
lend themselves to a happier and less stressful life.
Contrary to what you have been sold by the “lifestyles of the
wealthy and happy” fallacy, money does not equate to happiness.
Nor does it insulate you from pain, suffering and conflict or improve your
relationships with those around you. Money is simply a currency that allows you
to eat, dress and live. It is not a magic wand.
Don’t be afraid to stand up and stand out.
Take a stand. Speak up. Stand out from the crowd.
If something is important to you, then stand up for it…even if it is unpopular.
Never compromise your integrity. One person can make a difference and shed
light on injustice or unfairness. If it’s not right, say so.
Be quirky, be different, be yourself. Don’t worry so much about
conforming to society’s standards or whatever passes for the norm. While I do
think it reasonable to be clean, respectful and considerate, I think we place
too much emphasis on fitting in and being “appropriate.” This is not your
grandmother’s world. Don’t be afraid to be yourself.
It’s not a race.
We have so much to do, so much to accomplish and it feels as
though we have to be in a hurry to get there. It is likely that you will live
upwards of 80 years. That is plenty of time to fit a whole host of wonderful
endeavors into your life. People work into their 70s and 80s, have children
into their 40s and change careers or start businesses at any age.
You do not have to do it all at once. In fact, if you try to do
it all at once you will, at best not have time to enjoy it and at worst burn
out and damage your health and relationships. Slow down and take one thing at a time, one day
at a time. Yes, make plans, but don’t be in such a rush 24/7.
Look for the good in everything.
Stay positive. Look for
the good in people. Celebrate the happy moments, big and small. Search for the
lesson and opportunity for growth in the difficult. Give helpful encouragement
rather than negative criticism. Be helpful whenever possible.
This does not mean put on Pollyanna glasses and ignore the bad.
Dishonesty, disrespect, unhappiness and evil exist and you will have to deal
with them. But don’t let those difficulties color your experience. If you view
the world around you and life’s challenges through the lens of goodness, then
you will find life much more enjoyable.
Life is serious — and sometimes awful — but you can still be upbeat and hopeful. Otherwise, what’s the point?
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